Dear America,
Please don’t be shocked to witness random shrieks of anguish or tears from the nerdy intern at work or the gorgeous girl sitting at the library for the next 42 days. There is no cause for alarm as this uncanny behavior is not due to depression or a hormonal change. It is purely the charm of the Cricket World Cup that comes around every 4 years. Yes, I’m emphasizing the word “World” because countries from all over the globe participate in it unlike something called the “World Series” of baseball. Oh also pardon me for being ignorant but for the one’s who don’t know anything about Cricket, there are still 13 hours for you to learn all about this fascinating sport. So stop pretending to do work on a Friday and get on Google and read up.
Dear Observers,
It would be highly appreciated if you don’t call the cops if you see some kids in the streets walking around with a paddle and flags that you don’t recognize. This is perfectly accepted behavior from where we come so please don’t ruin our party.
Dear Neighbor,
Please don’t call the housing company if you hear loud cheers at wee hours of the morning, as this, in no way, is our response to that crazy loud party that you threw three months ago.
Dear Starbucks/Dunkin Donuts Employees,
Please don’t feel offended if we sound cranky first thing in the morning. We have either had a fight with the missus or our beloved team just lost a nail biting game to our all time foes.
Dear Boss,
Please don’t mind if we look tired and occasionally take a nap during the staff meeting. The timings of the matches are not best suited to our work environment so please try to understand.
Dear Significant Other,
Please don’t mind if we fail to pay attention to you. It is not that we are cheating on you with another man/woman; it’s just that we are pursuing our first love 
And finally,
Dear Bangladesh, England, West Indies, South Africa, Australia, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Netherlands, Canada, Kenya, Ireland, New Zealand and Zimbabwe
Please don’t mind if we slaughter your asses and you go back home hurt. We i.e. Indians don’t mean to be so harsh on you but this is probably the Almighty, Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar’s, last World Cup and we owe this to him as a team, country or simply a fan of the sport. There will be no respite so we suggest you don’t take this mauling to heart and carry on playing this so called gentleman’s game. Here is a rehashed jingle that our friend, Enrique Iglesias created for our oppositions.
“You know our motivation,
Given our reputation,
Please excuse us we don’t mean to be rude
Coz on game nights we are f**ing you”
Thanks,
Indian’s in America
